Yartpandub is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, moody salamander.

Yartpandub created time and space four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartpandub, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yartpandub, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yartpandub's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Yartpandub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about corn.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

4. Yartpandub loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.