Fotxuclen is a god.

It takes the form of a large, humane jackal.

Fotxuclen created tapeworms four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotxuclen, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fotxuclen, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fotxuclen's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Fotxuclen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.