Gilsidjen is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, merciless hydra.

Gilsidjen created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilsidjen, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gilsidjen, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gilsidjen's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gilsidjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop near aardvarks.

2. Do not wear violet clothing.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.