Ripmumbimgofnib is a god.
He takes the form of a small, humorless
hamster.
Ripmumbimgofnib created a quark two quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Ripmumbimgofnib, he will smite all your enemies.
If you do not believe in
Ripmumbimgofnib, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.
Ripmumbimgofnib's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.
Ripmumbimgofnib's Holy Commandments1. Always help nematodes in need.
2. Worship no other gods but Ripmumbimgofnib.
3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.
4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.
5. Never talk about spacetime near manatees while wearing indigo corsets and balancing six platinum spheres on your head.