Fengetjen is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, annoying hydra.

Fengetjen created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fengetjen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fengetjen, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fengetjen's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Fengetjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never feed garlic to ducks while wearing shirts.