Larpbetzim is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, narcissistic goose.

Larpbetzim created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpbetzim, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Larpbetzim, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Larpbetzim's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Larpbetzim's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. You must never eat corn.