Figquimlop is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, overgenerous fish.

Figquimlop created silver three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figquimlop, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Figquimlop, she will cry a lot.

Figquimlop's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Figquimlop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt horses.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. Never feed lots of onions to badgers while wearing mauve ear rings.

5. Do not dye your hair white.