Gofcinhub is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, witless octopus.

Gofcinhub created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofcinhub, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gofcinhub, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Gofcinhub's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Gofcinhub's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not wear nickel on your body.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always wear red.

5. Feed all hungry shrews.