Bamhatdap is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, egotistical grasshopper.

Bamhatdap created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamhatdap, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bamhatdap, he will turn you into a rat.

Bamhatdap's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bamhatdap's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always wear blue.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.