Cabquafbed is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, stupid cat.

Cabquafbed created the Large Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Cabquafbed, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cabquafbed, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Cabquafbed's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cabquafbed's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.