Hugquatjam Rakhabmet is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, duplicitous centipede.

Hugquatjam Rakhabmet created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hugquatjam Rakhabmet, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hugquatjam Rakhabmet, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Hugquatjam Rakhabmet's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Hugquatjam Rakhabmet's Holy Commandments

1. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hugquatjam Rakhabmet.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Never paint your hands cyan.