Boptarpcub is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, boastful squirrel.

Boptarpcub created carbon three million years ago.

If you believe in Boptarpcub, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Boptarpcub, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Boptarpcub's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Boptarpcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt birds.

2. Feed all hungry whales.

3. Never think about gravity near foxes while wearing turquoise corsets and balancing five tin spheres on your back.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics.

5. You must never eat wheat.