Femhiglarpbeddungoflen Dadmidsis is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, merciless crow.

Femhiglarpbeddungoflen Dadmidsis created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femhiglarpbeddungoflen Dadmidsis, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Femhiglarpbeddungoflen Dadmidsis, he will destroy your home planet.

Femhiglarpbeddungoflen Dadmidsis' most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Femhiglarpbeddungoflen Dadmidsis' Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not shave your back.