Dodcargessbugtan is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring mole.

Dodcargessbugtan created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dodcargessbugtan, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dodcargessbugtan, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dodcargessbugtan's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Dodcargessbugtan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.