Wabmetvan is a god.

It takes the form of a small, smart skunk.

Wabmetvan created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabmetvan, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wabmetvan, it will try to impress you with trees.

Wabmetvan's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Wabmetvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

3. Run away from violet goats, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat limes.

5. Do not cook food in pots.