Kemfottomstaffabbidstrag is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, omniscient guinea pig.

Kemfottomstaffabbidstrag created dark energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemfottomstaffabbidstrag, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kemfottomstaffabbidstrag, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Kemfottomstaffabbidstrag's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Kemfottomstaffabbidstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.