Wotkipkan Kenrillwik is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, emotional clam.

Wotkipkan Kenrillwik created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Wotkipkan Kenrillwik, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wotkipkan Kenrillwik, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Wotkipkan Kenrillwik's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Wotkipkan Kenrillwik's Holy Commandments

1. Wotkipkan Kenrillwik loves moths, so they must be respected.

2. You must never eat melons.

3. Never feed gooseberries to mice while wearing rings.

4. Never wear magenta boots.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.