Hunpitxen is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, benevolent snake.

Hunpitxen created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hunpitxen, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hunpitxen, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hunpitxen's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Hunpitxen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Worship no other gods but Hunpitxen.

3. Feed all hungry foxes.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.