Hogbusjatyakgammad Tarphatven is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, idiotic naga.

Hogbusjatyakgammad Tarphatven created tapeworms two years ago.

If you believe in Hogbusjatyakgammad Tarphatven, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hogbusjatyakgammad Tarphatven, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Hogbusjatyakgammad Tarphatven's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Hogbusjatyakgammad Tarphatven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Put Hogbusjatyakgammad Tarphatven first in all things.

5. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.