Flatvonkvan is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, sage frog.

Flatvonkvan created everything that exists four years ago.

If you believe in Flatvonkvan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flatvonkvan, she will have a low opinion of you.

Flatvonkvan's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Flatvonkvan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flatvonkvan.

2. Flatvonkvan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Do not eat peanuts.

5. Retreat if four swans approach from the west.