Yartbapmab is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sage mouse.

Yartbapmab created humankind two years ago.

If you believe in Yartbapmab, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yartbapmab, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yartbapmab's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Yartbapmab's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat aubergines.

2. Never think about solid mechanics.

3. Never mention horses.

4. Always treat sheep with great respect.

5. Snails are not to be trusted.