Bemvenapp is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, flying cat.

Bemvenapp created the world eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemvenapp, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bemvenapp, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Bemvenapp's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bemvenapp's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think ill of sick mites.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. Do not kill doves.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.