Kabhamhat Tunquatdincan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, intelligent dove.

Kabhamhat Tunquatdincan created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabhamhat Tunquatdincan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kabhamhat Tunquatdincan, she will turn you into a dog.

Kabhamhat Tunquatdincan's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Kabhamhat Tunquatdincan's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never hurt sharks.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never skip in the presence of birds.

5. Never talk about snakes.