Cimpitlog is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, two-faced skunk.

Cimpitlog created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Cimpitlog, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cimpitlog, she will turn you into a worm.

Cimpitlog's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Cimpitlog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Cimpitlog's name in vain.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Never eat lentils.

4. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Cimpitlog in the centre of the settlement.

5. Worship no other gods but Cimpitlog.