Flowpidflap is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, benevolent wasp.

Flowpidflap created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowpidflap, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flowpidflap, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Flowpidflap's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Flowpidflap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three bats approach from the west.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never talk about fire.