Kopcumgep is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, capable armadillo.

Kopcumgep created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopcumgep, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kopcumgep, she will laugh at you.

Kopcumgep's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Kopcumgep's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kopcumgep.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Never think ill of sick whales.

4. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

5. Never write about solid mechanics.