Fithamkenyim is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, witless sheep.

Fithamkenyim created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fithamkenyim, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fithamkenyim, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fithamkenyim's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Fithamkenyim's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Do not shave your face.