Gigrakomt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, passionate jackal.

Gigrakomt created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gigrakomt, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gigrakomt, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gigrakomt's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gigrakomt's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve tortoises for they are unholy.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near goats while wearing gray dresses and balancing five nickel spheres on your head.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Pray towards the south.