Batfedrig is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, staggering bird.

Batfedrig created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batfedrig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Batfedrig, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Batfedrig's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Batfedrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Batfedrig loves turtles, so they must be respected.

3. Batfedrig must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.