Fudsinlab Dagkemmet Yamsomfag is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthinking squid.

Fudsinlab Dagkemmet Yamsomfag created matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudsinlab Dagkemmet Yamsomfag, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fudsinlab Dagkemmet Yamsomfag, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fudsinlab Dagkemmet Yamsomfag's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Fudsinlab Dagkemmet Yamsomfag's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Never wear brown shorts.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. You must pray to Fudsinlab Dagkemmet Yamsomfag six times a day.

5. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Fudsinlab Dagkemmet Yamsomfag in the centre of the settlement.