Podstigjab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, amazing scorpion.

Podstigjab created the Andromeda Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Podstigjab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Podstigjab, it will manifest in front of you.

Podstigjab's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Podstigjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in holy places.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.