Lopstigwee is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, humane meerkat.

Lopstigwee created Mount Everest two million years ago.

If you believe in Lopstigwee, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lopstigwee, it will make you grow a tail.

Lopstigwee's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Lopstigwee's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sheep.

2. Never skip in the presence of goats.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.