Homnartfid is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, humorless dugong.

Homnartfid created a down quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Homnartfid, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Homnartfid, it will turn you into a hamster.

Homnartfid's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Homnartfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Hide from brown otters for they are unholy.

3. Hide if five horses approach from the east.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always obey Homnartfid's priests.