Vanontsid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, amazing wyrm.

Vanontsid created bats nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanontsid, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vanontsid, it will turn you into a frog.

Vanontsid's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Vanontsid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about dark energy.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Vanontsid on top of all buildings.

4. Never think about spacetime near dogs while wearing black stockings and balancing six lead spheres on your face.

5. Always look after injured gulls.