Barnbassfot is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, unthinking squirrel.

Barnbassfot created the Sunflower Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnbassfot, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Barnbassfot, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Barnbassfot's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Barnbassfot's Holy Commandments

1. Barnbassfot loves frogs, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Never talk about ducks.

5. Always take life seriously.