Zogfarnminrulfebbaf is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, effective clam.

Zogfarnminrulfebbaf created a bottom quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Zogfarnminrulfebbaf, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zogfarnminrulfebbaf, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Zogfarnminrulfebbaf's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Zogfarnminrulfebbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Put Zogfarnminrulfebbaf first in all things.

2. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

3. Do not kill manatees.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never sing near pigs.