Jonlunrak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, almighty shrew.

Jonlunrak created the Sol system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jonlunrak, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jonlunrak, he will send minions to preach to you.

Jonlunrak's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Jonlunrak's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Erect five copper sculptures of Jonlunrak on top of important buildings.

4. Never feed coconuts to snakes while wearing hats.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near rats while wearing mauve kilts.