Tomgidhak is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, generous fish.

Tomgidhak created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomgidhak, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tomgidhak, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tomgidhak's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Tomgidhak's Holy Commandments

1. Horses are not to be trusted.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tomgidhak.

3. Never talk about dark matter near goats while wearing yellow shorts and balancing three iron spheres on your arms.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always look after injured cats.