Lakhombog is a god.

He takes the form of a small, narcissistic crane.

Lakhombog created the Whirlpool Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakhombog, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lakhombog, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Lakhombog's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Lakhombog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Lakhombog loves tortoises, so they must be respected.