Betgar is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, overgenerous coyote.

Betgar created the Sol system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betgar, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Betgar, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Betgar's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Betgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never think about special relativity near dolphins while wearing violet corsets and balancing six titanium spheres on your back.

4. Never talk about spacetime near porpoises while wearing yellow shirts and balancing eight silver spheres on your legs.

5. Always treat goats with great respect.