Komwablunnig Lakzedwad is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, self-confident whale.

Komwablunnig Lakzedwad created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Komwablunnig Lakzedwad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Komwablunnig Lakzedwad, she will turn you into a mouse.

Komwablunnig Lakzedwad's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Komwablunnig Lakzedwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Never talk about special relativity near nematodes while wearing black boots.