Bifquagsan is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, grumpy gorilla.

Bifquagsan created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifquagsan, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bifquagsan, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Bifquagsan's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Bifquagsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven shrews in a large pit.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Bifquagsan on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.