Nillgumsin is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, happy human.

Nillgumsin created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nillgumsin, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Nillgumsin, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nillgumsin's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Nillgumsin's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Nillgumsin in the centre of the settlement.

3. You must never eat spinach.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never eat cucumbers.