Nillnakkim is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, deceitful porpoise.

Nillnakkim created tapeworms five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nillnakkim, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nillnakkim, he will come to you in dreams.

Nillnakkim's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Nillnakkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about fluid mechanics.

2. Always help turtles in need.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.