Lopyogtom is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, idiotic hedgehog.

Lopyogtom created dark matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopyogtom, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lopyogtom, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Lopyogtom's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Lopyogtom's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet fawn.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never think about electromagnetism.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always stare at clouds.