Lopyogtom is a god.
He takes the form of a fat, idiotic
hedgehog.
Lopyogtom created dark matter three trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Lopyogtom, he will look after your home planet.
If you do not believe in
Lopyogtom, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.
Lopyogtom's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.
Lopyogtom's Holy Commandments1. Never paint your feet fawn.
2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.
3. Never think about electromagnetism.
4. Respect your elders.
5. Always stare at clouds.