Nulgenomin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, stupid lobster.

Nulgenomin created the cosmos four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nulgenomin, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nulgenomin, he will turn you into a duck.

Nulgenomin's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Nulgenomin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help birds in need.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Nulgenomin in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.