Hoggutgiddobvagtadlistcad is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, tranquil octopus.

Hoggutgiddobvagtadlistcad created the universe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hoggutgiddobvagtadlistcad, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hoggutgiddobvagtadlistcad, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hoggutgiddobvagtadlistcad's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Hoggutgiddobvagtadlistcad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never run near sharks.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.