Arphudben is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, annoying ferret.

Arphudben created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arphudben, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Arphudben, she will make you grow a tail.

Arphudben's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Arphudben's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Arphudben must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Hide if five manatees approach from the east.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Never bounce in the presence of geese.