Arnbatnur is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, caring gerbil.

Arnbatnur created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnbatnur, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Arnbatnur, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Arnbatnur's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Arnbatnur's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity.

2. Never write about eukaryotes.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never sit near squirrels.

5. Do not covet oxen.