Negarffumquagmotyokmat is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, loving crab.

Negarffumquagmotyokmat created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Negarffumquagmotyokmat, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Negarffumquagmotyokmat, it will boil you in a big pot.

Negarffumquagmotyokmat's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Negarffumquagmotyokmat's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics.